“The Touchstone Institute of Oceanographic Research is the most fantastic, exhilarating place on the planet to work. It is high energy, exciting, sometimes maddening, often frightening, heart pounding work. It’s not a job. It’s a lifetime commitment. It gets in your blood. It grabs you by the throat and possesses you, body and soul. And it is work. If you’re not prepared to work your ass off day in and day out, weekends, holidays, your birthday, and your mamma’s birthday, leave now.”
Amazon Link:
https://www.amazon.com/SEA-WITCH-Carol-Ann-Kauffman-ebook/dp/B00XK6DUNA?ref_=ast_author_dp
(This is from Interview Day for an open position at the Touchstone Institute of Oceanographic Research.)
Dr. Benjamin Scott Conner sat in the small glass-walled room and watched Dr. Laura Martin with personnel file in hand enter the first room with the older blonde woman. Dr. Martin shook her hand and sat down. She smiled and seemed cordial. There was a serious question, then some laughter, some conversation. Dr. Martin made a few notes, got up, shook her hand, this time with compassion, and left. She felt sorry for her. She liked her. That’s bad, he thought, that’s bad for him. Three minutes.
So, he was going to get three minutes to impress her, to win her over. She already had all of his fantastic credentials and glowing recommendations in his folder. He had researched her, read every article with her name in it, watched every science channel interview and documentary she’d ever done or ever worked on over and over again. Three minutes to get her to give him a chance to work with her every day, 24/7, if he believed Sylvia Washington. She was already finished with candidate number two. Now to the bouncy girl. Oh, crap! Less than two minutes with bouncy girl. Now she was with the redhead. Oh, she liked the redhead. She was more at ease with her, smiling. Some serious discussion here. She gave her a pat on the hand. Bad, that’s bad for him again. That’s two candidates she liked so far. Dr. Martin checked something in the redhead’s file and nodded to her. She got up and shook her hand. Here it comes. He had been working toward this moment for the last two years.
“Benjamin?” she said as she entered, shaking his hand. No smile. He stood and did the firm grasp handshake thing a man is supposed to do.
“It’s my pleasure to finally get to meet you, Dr. Martin,” he said, trying not to sound too much like a fanboy. “I’ve admired your work for a very long time. I think you’re brilliant.”
“Thank you. Tell me, Benjamin,” she sat down and looked at him intently, “why should I give you this job? I’ve just interviewed four highly qualified women who would kill for this job.”
He followed her lead and sat down across from her.
She folded her hands on the table and looked at him. It was unnerving. He felt like she was examining a specimen. And he was the specimen.
He copied her, folding his hands on the table, and began.
“Three highly qualified women, Dr. Martin. You were completely unimpressed with the little bouncy brunette. I could tell by your body language. I also know you prefer a female assistant. Why is that?”
“We work long hours in very close proximity,” she explained, surprised at the way he turned the interview around and now she was the one answering the questions. “Add aliens and emotions to that mix and we could be brewing a dangerous cocktail in here without throwing in male hormones and sexual tension.”
“I promise to behave myself and keep my testosterone under tight control. Which candidate must I kill for this position, the older blonde or the tall redhead?”
“Well, I’m not sure yet,” she laughed, realizing he had zeroed in on her two favorites. This kid was good, she thought. Maybe he had a career in politics. “The job doesn’t start until the first of the month. And government funding is anything but reasonable and reliable. Sometimes they give me what I ask for, and sometimes they don’t.”
“Fine. I’ll start today, right now, being your UNPAID research assistant. I have a little over two weeks, sixteen days to be exact, to prove myself to you without having to commit murder. Work me day and night, I don’t care. I have a doctorate in underwater life sciences. I am familiar with your work. I did my doctoral dissertation at MacShane University on proving the theories you set forth in your book ‘The Suitability of the Atlantic Ocean to Harbor Alien Lifeforms’. My advisor was Dr. Jane Rollins, who’s done autopsies on dead alien lifeforms found in the Atlantic Ocean.”
“I know Jane well. She’s outstanding. But,” she hesitated, “don’t you think you’re a bit over-qualified for this position?”
“It’s the only position you have available at this time. I was also prepared to apply for a maintenance position if it were to open,” he joked, “or security. Although I’m on the thin side, I’m quite skilled at martial arts. I just want to work with you.”
“Dr. Conner, the hours are long. We don’t go home until we’re done, no matter how long it takes. I’ve had some wonderful, dedicated employees walk away from this job without so much as a goodbye because of the amount of work and stress we’re subjected to on a daily basis. It can get to you. You’re a young man. This job will leave you no time for a social life.”
“That’s okay. I prefer fish to people. I have an apartment in the building right next door, not far for me to crawl at the end of my shift. And I really admire you, so you can be as nasty as you want, and you won’t drive me away, I have older sisters so I’m used to abuse. I don’t need this job to pay my bills. I want this job so that I can work with you. If you aren’t completely satisfied with the caliber and amount of work I produce, then after two weeks, send me packing. You’ve lost nothing. Now, how can you turn down free over-qualified help for sixteen days? Aren’t you swamped?”
“Yes. Yes, Benjamin, I am. It’s… it’s…”
“What? Tell me.”
“I don’t know that I’m completely comfortable with you, Benjamin… Ben… Benjie.”
“Let’s see if that doesn’t clear up in a day or two. I’m really very nice,” he smiled at her. Still no return smile. “Also, I gather you’re uncomfortable with my name?”
“That’s right, I had a bad experience with a Benjamin.”
“Okay, my middle name is Scott. Everybody calls me Scott anyway. Even my mother calls me Scott. She, too, had a very bad experience with a Benjamin. My father. You call out ‘Scott’ and I’ll come running. Now, come on, my three minutes are up. You are a busy woman, and we have work to do.” He stood up and reached for her hand as he walked to the door. “Come on, let’s go!”
“Okay… Scott.”
Dr. Benjamin Scott Conner sat in the small glass-walled room and watched Dr. Laura Martin with personnel file in hand enter the first room with the older blonde woman. Dr. Martin shook her hand and sat down. She smiled and seemed cordial. There was a serious question, then some laughter, some conversation. Dr. Martin made a few notes, got up, shook her hand, this time with compassion, and left. She felt sorry for her. She liked her. That’s bad, he thought, that’s bad for him. Three minutes.
So, he was going to get three minutes to impress her, to win her over. She already had all of his fantastic credentials and glowing recommendations in his folder. He had researched her, read every article with her name in it, watched every science channel interview and documentary she’d ever done or ever worked on over and over again. Three minutes to get her to give him a chance to work with her every day, 24/7, if he believed Sylvia Washington. She was already finished with candidate number two. Now to the bouncy girl. Oh, crap! Less than two minutes with bouncy girl. Now she was with the redhead. Oh, she liked the redhead. She was more at ease with her, smiling. Some serious discussion here. She gave her a pat on the hand. Bad, that’s bad for him again. That’s two candidates she liked so far. Dr. Martin checked something in the redhead’s file and nodded to her. She got up and shook her hand. Here it comes. He had been working toward this moment for the last two years.
“Benjamin?” she said as she entered, shaking his hand. No smile. He stood and did the firm grasp handshake thing a man is supposed to do.
“It’s my pleasure to finally get to meet you, Dr. Martin,” he said, trying not to sound too much like a fanboy. “I’ve admired your work for a very long time. I think you’re brilliant.”
“Thank you. Tell me, Benjamin,” she sat down and looked at him intently, “why should I give you this job? I’ve just interviewed four highly qualified women who would kill for this job.”
He followed her lead and sat down across from her.
She folded her hands on the table and looked at him. It was unnerving. He felt like she was examining a specimen. And he was the specimen.
He copied her, folding his hands on the table, and began.
“Three highly qualified women, Dr. Martin. You were completely unimpressed with the little bouncy brunette. I could tell by your body language. I also know you prefer a female assistant. Why is that?”
“We work long hours in very close proximity,” she explained, surprised at the way he turned the interview around and now she was the one answering the questions. “Add aliens and emotions to that mix and we could be brewing a dangerous cocktail in here without throwing in male hormones and sexual tension.”
“I promise to behave myself and keep my testosterone under tight control. Which candidate must I kill for this position, the older blonde or the tall redhead?”
“Well, I’m not sure yet,” she laughed, realizing he had zeroed in on her two favorites. This kid was good, she thought. Maybe he had a career in politics. “The job doesn’t start until the first of the month. And government funding is anything but reasonable and reliable. Sometimes they give me what I ask for, and sometimes they don’t.”
“Fine. I’ll start today, right now, being your UNPAID research assistant. I have a little over two weeks, sixteen days to be exact, to prove myself to you without having to commit murder. Work me day and night, I don’t care. I have a doctorate in underwater life sciences. I am familiar with your work. I did my doctoral dissertation at MacShane University on proving the theories you set forth in your book ‘The Suitability of the Atlantic Ocean to Harbor Alien Lifeforms’. My advisor was Dr. Jane Rollins, who’s done autopsies on dead alien lifeforms found in the Atlantic Ocean.”
“I know Jane well. She’s outstanding. But,” she hesitated, “don’t you think you’re a bit over-qualified for this position?”
“It’s the only position you have available at this time. I was also prepared to apply for a maintenance position if it were to open,” he joked, “or security. Although I’m on the thin side, I’m quite skilled at martial arts. I just want to work with you.”
“Dr. Conner, the hours are long. We don’t go home until we’re done, no matter how long it takes. I’ve had some wonderful, dedicated employees walk away from this job without so much as a goodbye because of the amount of work and stress we’re subjected to on a daily basis. It can get to you. You’re a young man. This job will leave you no time for a social life.”
“That’s okay. I prefer fish to people. I have an apartment in the building right next door, not far for me to crawl at the end of my shift. And I really admire you, so you can be as nasty as you want, and you won’t drive me away, I have older sisters so I’m used to abuse. I don’t need this job to pay my bills. I want this job so that I can work with you. If you aren’t completely satisfied with the caliber and amount of work I produce, then after two weeks, send me packing. You’ve lost nothing. Now, how can you turn down free over-qualified help for sixteen days? Aren’t you swamped?”
“Yes. Yes, Benjamin, I am. It’s… it’s…”
“What? Tell me.”
“I don’t know that I’m completely comfortable with you, Benjamin… Ben… Benjie.”
“Let’s see if that doesn’t clear up in a day or two. I’m really very nice,” he smiled at her. Still no return smile. “Also, I gather you’re uncomfortable with my name?”
“That’s right, I had a bad experience with a Benjamin.”
“Okay, my middle name is Scott. Everybody calls me Scott anyway. Even my mother calls me Scott. She, too, had a very bad experience with a Benjamin. My father. You call out ‘Scott’ and I’ll come running. Now, come on, my three minutes are up. You are a busy woman, and we have work to do.” He stood up and reached for her hand as he walked to the door. “Come on, let’s go!”
“Okay… Scott.”